Sunday, October 20, 2013

Commitment cannot be forced...

Commitment cannot be forced. Make the person happy so he feels there is no need for any other relationship. But on the contrary, most people make such trouble that even if the other was not thinking of another relationship, he will have to think of it--just to escape. This is one of the deep-rooted problems in any man-woman relationship. Man has more need of freedom than of love, and 'woman has more need of love than of freedom. It is a problem all over the world with every couple. The woman is not worried about freedom at all. She is ready to become a slave if only she can make the other a slave also. She is ready to move into any commitment if the other is also forced into a commitment. She is ready to live in a prison if the other is ready to live in a dark cell. And the man is ready even to sacrifice love if it becomes too risky to his freedom. He would like to live in the open sky, even alone. He would like to be in a loving relationship, but it becomes dark and an imprisonment. So this is the trouble. One has to become aware that this asking for too much commitment or for too much freedom are both immaturities. Somewhere one has to come to terms with the other person. Once you understand that the man needs more freedom, you put down your demands for commitment. Once the man understands that the woman needs commitment, he puts down his demand for freedom, that's all. If you love, you are ready to sacrifice a little. If you don't love, it is better to separate.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

No woman is made for you and no man is made for any woman. By the right woman or the right man I mean that if you have understood a few relationships, if you have been in a few relationships, you will understand what things create miserable situations amongst you and what situations create a loving, peaceful, happy life. Living with different people is an absolutely necessary education for a right life as far as love is concerned.

You should first graduate from a few relationships. In your college, in your university you should pass through a few relationships. And you should not be in a hurry to decide – there is no need, the world is big, and each individual has some unique quality and beauty.

As you go through a few relationships you start becoming aware of what kind of woman, what kind of man is going to be a friend to you – not a master, not a slave. And friendship needs no marriage because friendship is far higher.

You know perfectly well that howsoever beautiful a man or woman might be, she starts becoming heavy on your nerves sooner or later. Because the same geography, the same topography, the same landscape....

Man's mind is not made for monotony; neither it is made for monogamy. It is absolutely natural to ask for variety. And it is not against your love. In fact, the more you know other women, the more you will praise your own woman – your understanding will deepen. Your experience will be enriching...the more you have known a few men, the more accurately you will be able to understand your own husband.

The idea of jealousy will disappear – you both are free, and you are not hiding anything.

With friends we should share everything, particularly those moments which are beautiful – moments of love, moments of poetry, moments of music...they should be shared. In this way your life will become more and more rich. You may become so attuned to each other that you live your whole life together, but there is no marriage.

Jealousy will persist as long as marriage remains the basic foundation of society.

Just give the man, with your full heart, absolute freedom. And tell him he need not hide anything: "To hide anything is insulting. That means you don't trust me." And the same has to happen to man, that he can say to his wife: "You are as independent as I am. We are together to be happy, we are together to grow into more blissfulness. And we will do everything for each other but we are not going to be jailers to each other."

Giving freedom is a joy, having freedom is a joy. You can have so much joy, but you are turning that whole energy into misery, into jealousy, into fight, into a continuous effort to keep the other under your thumb.


Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Love people, search in their souls,

Love people, search in their souls,
and you will not need to go to the movies
and you will not need to read novels.
Each person contains many novels
and many movies,
but we don't listen to people.
We don't see people face to face,
we don't hold their hands.


Thursday, July 18, 2013

To be happy is a great talent. Great intelligence, great awareness

To be happy is a great talent. Great intelligence, great awareness - almost a genius is needed to be happy. To be unhappy is nothing. Even stupid people are unhappy. It is nothing.

And it is very easy to be unhappy because the whole mind lives through unhappiness. If you remain happy for a longer time the mind starts disappearing, because there is no connection between happiness and the mind. Happiness is something of the beyond. That's why the mind will create some problems sooner or later. Even when there is no problem, the mind will create them - fantasy problems, out of the blue, to make you unhappy. Once you are unhappy, the mind is happy. You are back on earth then and things start moving in the rut.

The mind is the root cause of unhappiness and whenever you are happy you are mindless. Watch a moment of tremendous happiness. Suddenly there are no thoughts. You are simply happy; not even the thought of unhappiness is there. That too you have to recapture later on. Later on you suddenly realise, 'Ah, so I have been happy for so many minutes without any unhappiness arising, popping up!'

You recapture it only when it has passed. But in a really intense moment of happiness there is no thought. It is pure. It is completely empty of thoughts, so the mind is disturbed very much. It lives through unhappiness. It has a great investment in unhappiness.

So watch that. Once one has learned how to be happy, one should by and by start dropping habits of being unhappy. And they are simply habits, nothing else.

It is unbelievable that people are unhappy just because of habits.

There is no causality for being unhappy. The world is absolutely ready to make you happy. Everything is as it should be, but somehow one goes on missing. One goes on living in one's own cloud - dark, dismal. By and by one gets too attached to it. One almost starts liking it. In fact without it, one will feel at a loss as to what to do. People are wed to unhappiness. It is almost like a marriage unknowingly.

So you have found a track; a window has opened. Now don't lose that track. Whenever you see that the mind is arising again with its old tricks, immediately jump out of it. Immediately do something to distract yourself. Even jogging will do. A good jerk to the body will do or slapping your face. Anything that gives a shock just a cold shower or running around the house - anything that simply changes the trend, and you will find that you have regained the track. This is only for a few days.

Once you start living in happiness, once you know the taste of it and it enters deeply into your being, there is no need then. It is simply there.